Dawn Ellison, MD
When we are aware of the stories we tell about ourselves and others, we gain the ability to change them, according to Dawn Ellison, MD, the 2023 Women in IR InspIRed speaker.
Dr. Ellison, the president of Influencing Healthcare, spoke at the 2023 Women in IR (WIR) Section Luncheon on Monday on the power of stories and how they shape the way we interact with the world and ourselves.
“If you are a human being with a brain, you constantly make millisecond judgements about who and what you see. These are evolutionarily rooted, and we’re often unaware of the stories we’re telling,” she said.
When we see or hear something, she says, we immediately associate it with a story from our lived experiences. This triggers emotion, which then leads to action. Sometimes these actions keep us safe from danger—but sometimes they allow our unconscious bias to come through.
In her role as a mediator and coach, Dr. Ellison says that she has heard many common types of stories.
The victim story
“It’s not my fault.” Dr. Ellison says this is a common story—and it can always be reframed. She suggests asking yourself what your role is in the situation. Are you actually a victim? If you realize you aren’t, you can adjust how you relate to and approach situations. But if you have been victimized, Dr. Ellison suggests a different question: How can I be a survivor?
The villain story
“When you think of someone as a villain, you treat them in a way that perpetuates that behavior,” Dr. Ellison said. She suggested that if you encounter a villain, stop and wonder why a rational, reasonable, decent person would act that way.
“Try to tell a more compassionate story about them,” she said. She shared the story of a department she was sent in to coach, which had a “bully.” She found this bully was actually a brilliant physician, but his teaching method was interrogative and made his staff feel intimidated. Dr. Ellison encouraged the staff to view this doctor not as a bully, but as an effective teacher. And she convinced the physician to think of his staff with the same compassion he extended to patients.
The helpless story
If you feel helpless, Dr. Ellison said, ask what you can do to change the situation. Maybe it’s instituting a fair process model within your institution, or maybe it’s being aware of communication differences. Perhaps it just requires speaking up—but by focusing on what you can change, rather than what you can’t do, it will reframe the way you view the situation, she says.
I am not who I once was
This story is very common in those who have experienced trauma, Dr. Ellison said. Trauma comes in many forms, but it is essentially a disruption of your assumptive world and a disruption of who you are and what you can expect from your reality.
“With help, you can learn to tell a story about who you are in this new world,” Dr. Ellison said.
I am not worthy
If you tell yourself this story, Dr. Ellison says, you’re not alone. Almost everyone believes they aren’t doing as well as they could in some aspect of their life, and many of us have heard this described as imposter syndrome—something that is rampant in the medical community.
“Remind yourself that it is okay to not feel okay,” she said. “Don’t succumb to the achievement trap.”
She also recommended providing yourself with a mantra, like telling yourself that you are worthy.
“Tie this thought to an automatic behavior like washing your hands,” she suggested. “Recite your affirmation every time you wash your hands.”
Changing perceptions
Dr. Ellison also talked about the stories others tell about us.
“People will hear things about themselves, like that they are condescending, harsh, entitled or intimidating, and they won’t know what to do about it,” she said. “If you hear these, track them back to what people are actually hearing or seeing an interpreting as rude. I have often found that what is beneath a rude and abrupt physician is really an excellent physician who is a perfectionist. And that’s how they would prefer to be viewed.”
Dr. Ellison suggests using the feed-forward approach. The process involves figuring out what you want to do differently, and then choosing someone honest to observe your interactions. Listen to the feedback, then approach the individuals you’ve had bad interactions with.
“Let them know that you are working on changing,” she said. “Ask for how you can do better next time, and accept their advice with a thank you.”
Telling compassionate stories
If you aim to tell compassionate, generous stories, you will create better communications and better relationships. To train yourself to do this, Dr. Ellison suggests the “wishing well” walk. While walking through the halls or out in the world, acknowledge the people you come across and internally wish them well.
“When we are aware of our stories, we can change them,” Dr. Ellison said. “And then we can tell more helpful and compassionate ones.”
WIR Champion Award presentation
Rudilyn Hipolito
Shellie C. Josephs, MD, FSIR
Also during the WIR InspIRed luncheon, Shellie C. Josephs, MD, FSIR, was presented with the Women in IR Champion Award. In addition, the WIR Section leadership announced a new SIR Foundation grant. The Women’s Research Mentorship Grant, which launches on April 1, was built in collaboration with the WIR Section and is designed to support and highlight a woman performing IR research and to expand the pipeline for medical students or residents to learn about IR research. Visit sirfoundation.org on April 1 to learn more.
